Happy Thursday!

I’ve been noticing a lot of tradwife discourse on my For You Page recently. I believe it stems from two major events: 1) the Women’s Leadership Summit by Turning Point USA held on June 9 and 2) this video from a 19-year-old stay-at-home wife who has no degree or job. 

Given the fact that I talked a bit about the manosphere last week, I thought it would be fitting to discuss the other side of the redpilled coin. Subscribe to the Yapper tier so you don’t miss it. 

Many women are fed up with the popularity of tradwives, those who embrace traditional gender roles by taking on an exclusively domestic role while their husbands work. The contemporary idea of the tradwife is a fantasy, as many influencers tout that young women will feel important—even honorable—and taken care of as long as they find a provider husband. 

But this is a decision that is only praised in youth. There is no lasting prize to be won if you decide to settle down earlier than most people. As these young wives and mothers age, “tradwife” becomes less of an identity, instead becoming something expected. Over time, the domestic responsibilities of childcare, housework, and marital duties turn into the invisible work of women.

“There are many crises that will hit a tradwife as she continues to age, but one of them is realizing you’re no longer special or remarkable for being a stay-at-home wife or a stay-at-home mom once you hit a certain age,” one of my favorite commentary creators Alexia (@prettyweirdg0rl) explained in a TikTok. “It’s actually very normal and is no longer something that differentiates you from your peers.”

And that hits on one of the biggest points in the tradwife discourse that has been brought up recently: Where are the older tradwives and why aren’t they on the internet waxing poetic about the joys of domestic bliss? 

It’s a point that veteran reporter and Abortion, Every Day founder Jessica Valenti brought up and went viral for in a video posted in late June, captioning her TikTok, “If conservatives are so sure being a tradwife is what makes women happiest, then why are they hiding the middle aged tradwife? Why not show young women what their life would look like 20 yrs from now?”

And those middle-aged trad wives responded in droves, sharing their cautionary tales about their relationships to hopefully impart some wisdom onto their younger counterparts. Many of them were self-described former tradwives who described being blindsided after their husbands left them, forcing them to restart their entire lives—often without a formal education or job history. I don’t have to explain to you why that’s so difficult to do, especially in this economy.

“Married at 21, divorced at 41,” one person under Valenti’s TikTok wrote. “Working for minimum wage, considering going to college in hopes to getting a better paying job. Starting from scratch.”