Out of office

Happy Monday, y’all. I’m upstate with my family this week. What better excuse is there to literally touch grass? (I am currently in a house in the middle of a vast field with few homes nearby.)

I have some updates and thoughts regarding how I want to do this newsletter moving forward. For now, I’m taking somewhat of a break as I consider my options. More on that below, but TL;DR: The rest of the month’s newsletters will be on the leaner side, mostly Yap Seshes and playlists. Yappers will continue to get a second newsletter every week, which will be similar. If a topic strikes me, I will deliver you a report, interview, essay, etc. 

In other words, Yap Year is open during construction. Thank you for your patience as I do a little soul searching and R&R 💋

A bit of honesty today: I’ve had a tough year. My stepdad died right before the new year and I lost my job about a month after that. The past six months have been an exercise in avoiding falling into a grief hole while figuring out how to claw my way back to career and financial stability. I think I’ve done an OK job at this, but I’m tired.

I didn’t take much of a break after losing my job, against the advice of every friend I know who has also gotten laid off. I thought I did, but I was plotting, worrying, and planning in the background. I haven’t had a lot of time to relax. 

I wanted to be the type of person that metabolizes personal tragedy into excellent work. But I realize there are limits to that. I cannot outrun the fatigue and burnout that has been creeping up on me long before my layoff and loss. 

I’ve also been feeling a bit burnt out scrolling online recently. Every time I open up my phone, my nervous system is overwhelmed. I’ve been so irritated by online discourse that it lingers even when I close the apps. I’ve been tempted to take a break from social media.

This is hard, as I’ve said before, because my job up to this point has relied on me resisting the urge to log off. What kind of internet culture reporter takes a break from the internet? But, as many people have experienced, inundating my brain with mostly inflammatory content everyday has impacted my ability to critically think about the internet. Endless scrolling has not inspired me to write or report on anything, instead it has only turned my brain to mush. 

All of these things combined have made it difficult to actually say something meaningful about ongoing online news and trends. So I am going to listen to my gut and take a break. There is no time like the present, especially since I’m out here in the country with limited WiFi!

The past few months have been an interesting experiment in self-publishing. As I’ve said before, I want to avoid writing stuff just for the sake of it, so I’ve decided to take a little break to regroup. 

When I say I’m breaking, I mostly mean I’m holding on essays, reported pieces, and interviews as I juggle other professional pursuits. For the rest of July, newsletters will be on the leaner side, pending any urgent internet news that I feel like I should weigh in on. I will be sending more links in the upcoming Yap Seshes to make up for this. Any longer pieces will likely be in the Thursday newsletter for paid subscribers.

All that being said, I’m off to take my little summer break <3 

Every Monday letter gets a playlist. Some songs I listened to while driving upstate yesterday! This quick playlist is perfect for a <30 min cruise.

In this week’s playlist:

• Summerboy - Lady Gaga

• Easy Lover - Miley Cyrus

• I’m In Love With You - The 1975

• Spinning - Haim

• Summer Forever - Addison Rae

• Broken Glass - Lorde

• Stateside - PinkPantheress

• ATTENTION! - Kesha, Slayyyter, Rose Gray

Other things I want to share with you.

• Cierra Ortega left the Love Island USA villa after resurfaced posts of her saying an anti-Asian slur circulated online. I think this was the correct move, but I have had an uncomfortable feeling that a lot of people have used the posts as an excuse to direct extremely vicious, sometimes misogynist, hate at her. She has faced consequences for her actions: Public shaming, being removed from the show, losing her partner, and seemingly getting left by friends. What more do people want? I am not the only one asking this question.

@mariahcrose

I understand if this is a horrible take I’ve just had life experiences that make me take mental health VERY seriously #loveislandusa #seas... See more

• As further proof that a lot of Love Island USA fans aren’t genuinely interested in curbing bigotry or hate speech, some have gone so far as to suggest doctoring fake screenshots/videos of Chelley Bissainthe and Olandria Carthen saying slurs (cw: homophobic slur!) in order to advance another contestant. This season is the perfect snapshot of stan culture’s worst impulses. Just end the show now, honestly.

• I’m seated for Mother Mary. The theater employees are scared and asking me to leave because it “doesn’t have a release date yet” but I’m simply too seated. Charli XCX did the music so you know I’m already loving it.

• Joey Valence and Brae are the Gen Zers who will bring back swag. Stream “WASSUP,” off their upcoming album HYPERYOUTH, a project I’m excited for.

• The concept of Benson Boone being tween boys’ Taylor Swift omg… My 12 year old brother also likes Benson Boone!

• Katseye is the funniest girl group we have.

• Jojo Siwa looking real trad in this… interesting TikTok of her singing “Bette Davis Eyes.”

• Speaking of trad, Nara Smith is pregnant again and talking potential baby names. Sue me, but I like the name Dare. That’s my brother’s name!